poet // theologian // whiskey lover // loyal friend // northern beard in the southern heat.......................................Durham, NC
I wonder if we are shooting ourselves in the foot.
I love tumblr, truly, I do. And I love Pinterest. Heck, I love the internet.
But I wonder if we are killing our relationships by flooding our hearts and minds with all these images. We talk about Hollywood ripping through the self-esteems of women worldwide, but we don’t talk about how we inundate ourselves via tumblr/pinterest with these lofty standards of style, romance, and all things vintage.
My tumblr dashboard is mostly comprised of pictures of cute kids, coffee mugs steaming in the hands of a woman with fuzzy socks next to a creek bed, a couple wearing ski caps that look Norwegian, but are probably from Philadelphia and have never set foot in a forest…and the list goes on…mostly with more pictures of adorable wedding couples, Triumph motorcyles, more cute girls in gardens, and more couples lazily laughing in a sea of white bedroom sheets.
This is the tumblr/pinterest I’ve created. This is my world.
I choose what I see. I see what I choose. I choose what I want…what I think my life is like…or what I want it to be.
…as if my life were one click away from living on front porches smoking my pipe, sipping whiskey, and helping Mer in the garden.
The problem is not in our desires, but in our options. It’s not unfair to desire to share life and all of its joys and adventures with someone, but are we creating a tumblr standard for relationships that allows us to think it’s all just rosy? I’m sure wiser women and men have written on this phenomenon at length, but I thought it needed said again tonight.
When things get tough, when someone shows their vulnerable side, their weak side, their ugly side, their difficult side—do we look to tumblr and imagine there to be a more suitable option? Do we look to those around us and maybe think the same thing? Are we simply looking for the next relational reblog/repin?
Maybe it’s not the blogging platforms, but simply the nature of our generation. We have this ideal lifestyle we want to live into or think we are already and want to maintain it. But to do so, we must adapt with the times. We must change what and who we want. Which is easy to do when the going gets tough. You can just —unfollow.
Just doesn’t seem to be a sustainable way to love others.
And those of us that follow Jesus on tumblr are just as guilty, if not more. We create this ideal man or woman that God is going to bring into our lap. But when it gets hard, we assume God just has someone “more” right for us.
We write letters to our future spouses or reblog a cute gal in a maxi dress or handsome fella with a beard. But are we disappointing our actual future spouse who may be nothing like all of these types we idolize? I am super guilty of this at times. I’m just noticing the effects it has on me and others more and more.
How do we share and appreciate the beauty around us (in what we love, ie: all the types mentioned above), without setting ourselves up for failure—without preventing ourselves from accepting and embracing our humanity—which is busted, cracked, and being mended…in light of God’s grace, providence, and plan for us?